There is a man I know, I call him my best friend, and he is the absolute love of my life. There is no man like him. Often I ponder my life and how crappy it is, but I really do have some wonderful people in it. My best friend D is one of them. I have known D for seven years. God, has it been that long? People tend to forget how lucky they are when they are in the throes of depression, or even worse, my hell, of being bipolar. But I can’t deny that God blessed me with this wonderful man in my life.
I was reading some stories on relationships through ENotAlone.com and people really have it bad. There is one girl Ksol9 who shares her journal and her story openly on the site. Ksol9 is the woman I want to be. She seems like she has it together, works full-time, exercises at the gym (probably with a great body), and could probably get any guy she wants. But she is stuck on her guy. She found many emails, back and forth, between her guy and another woman and then walked out on him. For months after, she was crying, depressed and dreaming of this man while they were in the “no contact” phase. Finally they reconcile, and what does she find? Condoms in his bag. Then he won’t add her to Facebook and he is actively on there talking to women. Then the final straw, she finds a receipt to one of those shady massage places that are notorious for “happy endings.” All this happens and he screams at her for being insecure and crazy. Why am I telling you all this? Because my best friend is nothing like this. Yeah sure, we aren’t together for various reasons, but he’s not a pig.
From reading blogs and visiting various relationship forums, I have found that there are a lot of really shitty men (and women) out there. I count my blessings every day for this wonderful man I have in my life. He cares about me, he deals with my bipolar moods, and he is there for me whenever I need him, no matter how crazy I get. He even spent last Christmas Day in a psych ward with me. Talk about dedication!
So readers, next time I go on and on about how shitty my life is, and how I want to kill myself, please remind me of D, and how great he is to me. Without him I don’t know where I would be. After all it’s not every day you realize how much you are in love with your best friend. Phew, I knew I was capable of writing a positive post for once.