Orgasms aside, how do you know it’s love? I mean, REALLY know. And for that matter, can you be in love with two people at once? Things are going really well with the Pilot, and I am getting more engrossed with him as the days progress. But Kurio, oh Kurio, you continue to surprise me. He writes for pleasure, (and others’ too apparently), and I have to say I was blown away by his story on Literotica, called “The Sessions,” read it here if you want to get a little more than excited this afternoon/evening: The Sessions – By Kurio I have to say I was a little more than excited myself, after reading that.
But when the dust settles, who will I choose? The Pilot, or Kurio? I have to say I am at a loss. Through all of it though, I think it has become a lot more to me than just sex. I met someone a week ago who I had the most orgasmic sex with, but now, I can’t bring myself to talk to him. It’s almost we have nothing to talk about BUT sex. There is no more mystery, no more excitement, and it is apparent that he just wants to “get off” more than anything. How does it deteriorate so fast?
Spiritually, I am looking for more. The excitement, the thrill of words is what is orgasmic to me. I find the written word to be powerful, and when you meet the man/woman behind the words you are in complete awe of them. That’s what I felt like when I wrote a letter to Kurio about his story. It was almost as if I was talking to a celebrity. I have read stories before, but none ever made me feel so vulnerable, so innocent and so naughty all at the same time.
What are you trying to tell me God? I know I should be open to the Universe more, but what do I do here? On one hand, me and Kurio have such history and he is a wonderful writer and I fell in love with his words. The Pilot is adventurous, handsome, confident and completely focused, mostly on me. These two vie for my love and attention, and sometimes I feel like I am not being honest to either one of them. Spiritually? I have never been more in tune with things. My medicine will be shifting, so I think it will have a profound affect on my emotions in the upcoming months. I honestly don’t know what to do. I am going to pray on it I think. Something I haven’t done in a long time.
Is it love or infatuation that I feel for these men? The last element of course is my best friend. A man who has seen at my absolute worst and is still by my side. Deep down, I feel that all of these guys are passing flings and he will be the one I will end up with. So what am I doing here? I think honestly, my health is more important. I feel bad that I cancelled my doctor’s appointment today to have a quick orgasm. I don’t know, sometimes all a girl needs is a sexy treat.
We will see what happens.