What is it like to be used? To be manipulated? Some people will never experience this, (high-five to you!) because they are smart enough not to let others pull the wool over their eyes. What about the rest of us? The rest of us that want and seek a connection and go out there into the dating world with their heart on their sleeve? What about the honest ones that try to treat people with respect and courtesy that they deserve?
We are the screwed ones.
I am talking royally, totally fucked over.
What happened you ask? Well, darlings, I found myself in a particular place tonight where due to the powers of the internet, one can skillfully hide who they really are. Forget pictures, those could be googled anyway. I am talking about emotional rape here. I am talking the kind of shitty thing that MEN do, yes I am going to say MEN because look gents sometimes you do think with your cocks and it clouds your rational mind. I get it. No big deal. To those same gents, (yes you with the cock in your hand), I ask the question: Would you deliberately, maliciously message and ex-girlfriend for sex? I mean you know a hot steamy cyber session? Now most of you would say yes. That is fine. I get that. But would you also message said girlfriend under a totally different name, (while you yourself had a new current girlfriend), and pretend to be someone completely different to get into your ex-girlfriend’s panties?
That is what said scumbag tried to do to me.
The Southern Gentleman. For those of you that followed my blog from my other one, (Love With a Dark Heart in Chains), then you know all about him. He was a 30 year-old VIRGIN, (yes they still make those in their 30s), who basically was a man-child. He may have been intelligent, but his emotional intelligence and social skills were far beyond below average. That’s what happens when you spend your life behind a screen and never get out and have real social interactions (yes I am talking to you millennials). You end up like Cameron from Tennessee. Yeah I am using his real name, I could give less of a fuck anymore. You see what Cameron did, was use my loneliness against me. Now, I could argue that I should have known better and watched for the signs, (vague with information, job, location, relationship status etc), but I had a shitty night and was just looking for some solid conversation with a nice flirty gentleman.
But Nooooooooooo. He had to come under a different name, pretend to be someone totally different, (that didn’t know me), and try to get cyber sex WHILE he has a regular girlfriend. We then spoke for three hours, and FINALLY he tells me the truth. I ask him why? “Because you’re my friend.” In what god-forsaken universe do you do THAT to a friend?
I will never understand men. I should say “people” not to offend anyone, but I am going to say men, because I hate them all right now. I have never felt more used, and lied to. I think my bipolar friend had a point when I was crying in his ear a few moments ago. He said that I was more disappointed in Cameron more than anything. That I was let down because I thought he was better than that. I did. I really did think he was better than that, and I NEVER thought he would stoop to that slimy level.
But he did.
So here I am, another sleepless night. Betrayed, used and disappointed.
The perfect end to the perfect shitty day, (work was awful today too).
Thank god Labor Day weekend was full of drinks, dinner, the beach and laughter, because I would have literally hung myself.
Welcome to my crappy world.
(Plays tiny violin to myself).