Ever sit down and ask yourself that question? That guy cut you off hours ago and you’re still steaming? That Facebook post of the happiest couple ever still sticking in your craw? Did your boss forget to acknowledge something wonderful you did last week and it’s STILL bothering you? Oh shit! That ex who broke your heart is super happy without you, and found a new woman/man! (Damn whore, you hate her/him). And the list goes on, and on, and on……
Why do we do this? Do we realize this is an epic exercise in futility? Nope, because you can be 99.9% happy and the .01% that didn’t go your way is fucking EVERYTHING up! I, my friends, am a victim of such stupid nonsense. So, I was browsing along my merry way on this wonderful thing we call the internet, (never go to Reddit.com, it’s a black-hole and you’ll never get out, save yourselves now before it’s too late!), AND I found myself in a chatroom that I hardly pay attention to, but pass by every now and then for the flirts and giggles. Now folks, chatting online is totally silly and stupid. There is real life out there, with real people, and I should really get my ass out there and hang out with the three-dimensional people. (Yes, I am also talking to you, person who has a new Nintendo Switch, or Diablo II, and hasn’t seen the light of day since 2016). GET OFF THE DAMN COUCH!! Sorry, about that, you can stay on the couch to finish reading this post.
Anyway, back to the chat room. Now I had made a promise to myself that since things were going so amazingly well with The Captain, (and oh god it so is), and things are wonderful with my best friend, I wouldn’t make long-lasting connections with guys online anymore. That being said, I totally ignored everything I promised myself, (because yeah, why stick to something we promise ourselves right?) and kinda added a guy to my old Skype account from a chatroom. Did I really want to do that and stay in contact? No, not really, but I did it anyway, (yes alcohol was probably involved the night I added him).
Here’s the kicker. Not only do I not log into Skype to talk to him, but he is usually just an afterthought that I see in passing when I cruise by in a chat. Translation: I don’t really give a damn about him, but I just like flirting with him when I see him in the chat. Bored yet? I am, because this story is getting so old and played out already. Anyway, long story short, not only did he turn down my flirting advances when I saw him in the chat tonight, he treated ME like the afterthought and went along his merry way, with a simple, “I’ll be on Skype, toodles,” and off he went. That COULD have been an invitation for me to go meet him there, but eh, I didn’t feel like chasing him. It seemed like bait and I wasn’t going for it. How dare he not give me all of his attention and stay there in the chat to flirt with me! WAH! (Mind you I have two guys in my life right now). Yeah, please feel free to tell me how greedy and childish I am. Trust me I am aware!
I do realize this is the most petty thing ever, and it is completely stupid. So why the hell is it bugging me so much that he is treating me as the afterthought now and giving me a taste of my own medicine? Karma bitches! Moral of the story? Don’t dish it, if you can’t take it! I mean it bugged me to the point where I have to sit here and write it all out in this asinine post just to get it out of my system. Did you ever hear the theory that if you let something really tiny and small sit in your brain, it can fester and fester and blow the hell up like Hiroshima? So, in order to avoid the nuclear fallout of my insane mind, I am letting it all out here and you have to suffer with it. Sorry, please feel free to judge me on how stupid all this is.
It’s funny, but it seems like my last three posts have all had the same theme. They are related to the fact that I spend way too much damn time on the internet. Don’t give me the judgey eyes either, you know you do it too. It’s so easy you know, click here, click there, like this, share that, follow this one, laugh at that video, and BOOM, 5 hours, GONE! It’s worse when you like chatting in chatrooms. Do you have any idea how many hours I have spent wasting away at a computer chatting? Let’s talk AOL/CompuServe days, people. Yeah, the struggle is real. I am sooo thankful that my XBOX is just sitting gathering dust and that I don’t use my computer OR my phone for any type of gaming. That seems to be like Narnia for some people! “Where is Sally today? Oh, she started playing Bejeweled 2 and was last seen chasing Mr. Tumnus and is off helping Aslan in some crazy Revolution against The White Witch.” I totally get it. The struggle is real, I am with you!
So, back to not sweating the small stuff. I don’t know about you, but making a complete ass of myself, cracking jokes, and laughing about the whole thing has made me feel A LOT better. That’s the beauty of writing and blogging. Get all that shit out of your system man. Don’t let it be Uncle Fester in your psyche. Even if it is totally stupid and petty and DUMB! Like this post! Haha. But honestly, sweating the small stuff is really no good for you. You just need to let that crap go. I KNOW its hard to do. I mean they even made a whole How-To-Book on it! See here: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Jesus H. Christ they even made a SERIES of books out of it. How many times you gotta hammer the same shit in people’s brains? I mean I can just imagine the book:
Chapter 1: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Chapter 2: Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Chapter 5: You Still Sweating The Small Stuff? Stop it!
Book Series 2: Why The Hell Did You Buy This Book, Didn’t We Tell You To Stop Sweating The Small Stuff in Series 1?
(It’s okay we want your money, so we secretly want you to keep sweating the small stuff).
Okay as much fun as this is, I think I am done with my long rant on how pointless it is to let the small stuff bother you. I know you are going to let it bother you anyway, because, yeah, that’s what we do. I did just write a post on how I can be a sadist, so I understand your plight. But, all we can do, is pick ourselves up, refocus and regroup. (Some therapist told me that during hospitalization 4, or 5 or 11, who’s counting?) Oh yeah, in case you’re wondering, I am completely fucked up and bipolar, and this post is being written during a complete manic phase, where it is nearly 4am, and my mind is racing faster Seabiscuit.
So yeah, maybe I am not the best person to give advice.
Or maybe I am the Dalai Lama in disguise, and I hold all the keys to universe, right next to my prescription medication. (Insert Twilight Zone music).