What Direction Is The “Right” Direction??


Ever wonder what it’s like to hit crossroads in life? Or maybe what it’s like to get a second chance at something great? Divorced? Moved out on your own? New town? All these are changes people welcome – but what if you’re stuck?

For the first time in my life, I FINALLY have direction. I mean, I never realized how aimless I was until last year. Could you imagine living 12 years in a bubble? Better yet, a cage of your own making?? In 2004, I was handed a judgement of being “bipolar” when I never had been in my entire life, and from there, things just got from bad to infinitely worse. I couldn’t hold a job, I was spending money recklessly, I was sleeping with countless men and worst of all, I BECAME what being bipolar IS by definition in the DSM 5, (you know, that handy-dandy book psychiatrists use to hand out judgements to patients, changing their lives forever – and I could go on and talk about how I HATE that they “box” people in categories like this, but I won’t because it’s too off-topic).

Anyway, I never recovered from that day in 2004 – and for those that know me, this road that I have been on since then has been so, so hard on my mind, body and spirit. On a positive note, I have been given yet ANOTHER chance after falling hard so many times. Now, I have come to a question that mostly everyone has at one time in their life:

What career is the best for me? What can I do to make money and be happy??

I envy people who went all the way in school. They went from kindergarten to college, got out and just MADE IT. (Yes I can see you eye-rolling me), I KNOW it’s not that easy and a lot of hard work and sacrifice goes into all that, but I am wondering – will I get a chance at that??

So now, since all the craziness has passed and I am back down on Earth, I am faced with some options – I have a chance to go for an actual career in Earth Science that would be fulfilling, but the problem is, will I find a job in New York doing that? LIU Post has a great campus 30 minutes away from home, and they offer some great programs, but I just don’t know what I want to do with my life. Can I go to college at my age? And NO online schools are not the answer – my ass needs to go into a classroom and take courses, I have absolutely NO self-discipline what-so-ever! Have you guys tried an online school?? I got in and lasted approximately 20 minutes – no joke – I opened the browser to my courses, looked through and said “I ain’t doing this shit,” and quit just like that, lol.

Anyway, any advice anyone has will be super helpful as I am in a bit of an abyss right now with ideas floating around in my head. I have also thought about putting some real effort into a writing career, but would anyone really listen to my blathering??? I mean, you guys are, but you’re special 🙂

Please fill up the comments section!!!

Stay tuned.

About shatteredwishes

I am in my late-thirties just trying to figure out life in a big city. "When in life you are handed lemons, make a vodka martini." "When I am happy I enjoy the music, but when I am sad I understand the lyrics."
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