The Season of Change


So who else is with me when I say, “Bring it On Springtime!!???” I am itching to get out there in the warm weather because I think it will bring some inspiration. I am so lost right now with trying to find the right career for my future that I feel some sunshine will just “bring out the answers.” Wishful thinking you say? Possibly. But I don’t know man, I am just desperate for some direction.

I have two choices: Computer Science and English. There is no guarantee I will get a job instantly with either one of these degrees, but damn it, I have to try. I am almost 40 years old and this may be my last chance to get a Bachelor’s Degree. I also want my Dad to see me accomplish something by graduating school. I was such a good student when I was growing up, and it really was disappointing to my Dad that I never graduated High School. I guess I want to make up for that in some way. I understand that it’s my life not my Dad’s life that going back to school will impact, but I can’t help that it’s part of the reason that I want to go back and finish. I had such potential back then, and I still do, but I can’t seem to focus and get it together enough to succeed at a career. Come on girl you’re almost 40, get with the program already!!!

Anyway, I am lucky that I am a position to decide what steps to take with my future now because I don’t really have to work right now. Sure I am dead broke and barely making it, but I do have a bit of wiggle room. Now is the right time to decide this, so I better make my move soon. I think it was serendipitous that I dropped out of that online school and found that other “real” school, (and what I mean by real is an actual campus), because now I think I have a real shot at that Bachelor’s Degree because I NEED to be in a classroom to succeed.

On a another note, I would like to take a moment and thank my Mom and Dad, (and even my little sister even though we are not speaking right now but that’s okay), because without them this bipolar illness would have left for dead in the street. Every day I curse the doctors who put me here and destroyed my life, but you know, I never would have considered a writing career and been able to share any of this with the world.

I have been given a second chance to succeed and I thank God every day for it.

Without Him, we all wouldn’t be here. And for those who don’t believe in Him, he loves you too anyway because He gave you that choice.

Stay tuned.

About shatteredwishes

I am in my late-thirties just trying to figure out life in a big city. "When in life you are handed lemons, make a vodka martini." "When I am happy I enjoy the music, but when I am sad I understand the lyrics."
This entry was posted in Bipolar, God, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to The Season of Change

  1. bunnyhabit says:

    Was 75F in Taiwan today like spring break time


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